Genesis
Chapter 1
Chapter 1 of Genesis explains God’s process of creating the Heavens, the Earth, and all of the creatures that exist within them. Within the first six days of existance he created the Earth, the sky, the seas, the sun, the moon, the stars in the sky, the birds of the air, the fish of the sea, and the beasts that walk the earth.
I know some non-christians have a problem with the Christian explaination of creation. How could God create all of existance in six days? Well he’s God you idiot. If he has the power to create the world in the first place, why can’t he have the power to do it in the same amount of time it takes me to clean my garage? Perhaps six days was really thousands of years anyway. I don’t know. I don’t really care. If the existance of an infinitely powerful being that created and controls the entire known universe makes sense to you, this should too.
Chapter 2
On the seventh day God rested, but we know that already. After a quick nap he watered his garden he called Eden and created man. According to the King James Bible, Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Within the first thousand words of the Bible we’ve already got a precedent set for women to be treated as second-class! Luckily there are plenty of other religions out there to quote when justifying masogynism, so I won’t hold Genesis too accountable.
“And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25). More proof that the first humans were black, not asian…
Chapter 3
Chapter 3 explains Adam and Eve’s fall from Eden. Eve was tricked by a serpant into eating from the Tree of Knowledge, and Adam was foolish enough to follow her. Here’s what I don’t get: in Chapter 1 we are told that we were created in God’s image. Yet until they ate from the Tree of Knowledge, Adam and Eve knew no distinction between right and wrong. What gives? God then casts them out of Eden because—get this—he fears that they will eat from the Tree of Life and become immortal. Genesis doesn’t outright say that God feared humans achieving immortality, but the language certainly implies it. “Behold, the man has become like one of us, knowing good and evil; and now, lest he put forth his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever” (Genesis 3:23).
December 1st, 2005 at 12:38 pm
why did god have to rest…….hes god? why did man have to make woman from mans rib….. what did he make man from? too many flaws my friend the bible is a nice story for people who were to stupid long time ago! its almost like now days as the hurricane hit new orleans, islamic radicals beleif its “allah’s”(there god) way of punishing us………why are humans so stupid?
December 1st, 2005 at 11:03 pm
Why did God have to rest? Hell sometimes I need a break after taking a good dump, let alone creating all of existance.
Why did God create woman from man’s ribs? When Ford designs the next year’s Mustang, do they start from scratch or make cosmetic improvements to the one they’ve got?
You’re right, the Bible is a nice story. And a lot of it makes sense if you can get past the literal interpretation. Otherwise–if you read it and understand it verbatim–the Scientologists might as well be right, because Christianity is just as out there as them.