It was only a matter of time until I decided the world needed to hear my thoughts about Michael Richards. My time has finally come; and yet here I am, not entirely sure of what I want to say about it. Right now I’m torn between which side of the argument frustrates me more: the racist comedian or the hypocritical clergy.

If you’ve been living in a cave for the last three weeks (no offense Osama!), here’s a brief synopsis of the situation.

• Michael Richards, better known as Kramer on Seinfeld, does gig at comedy club.
• Richards gets annoyed by loud audience members, is told he’s “not funny” by one black man.
• Richards flips out; three-minute racial outburst is caught on video phone. Video finds its way to the Internet.
• Richards apologizes live on The Late Show with David Letterman.
• Someone digs up old Seinfeld clip that I find hilarious within the context.
• Richards goes on the PR warpath, apologizes to black civil rights leaders.
• Richard’s victims appear on various T.V. shows along with lawyer.
• Victim’s lawyer puts apology in terms of dollars. Makes mockery of situation in my opinion.
• Jesse Jackson advocates boycott of Seinfeld DVD purchases.
• Some feelings were hurt, now civil rights leaders think we should ban words, specifically the “n word.”
• Civil rights leaders inflate one man’s outburst into national problem; pit factions of country against one another; exacerbate racial tension they’re trying to heal.

Apparently big-shot Christians like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson can conveniently forget about Christian values when their ethnic pride gets attacked. I’m not saying what Richards said was right or that they have any reason to forgive him, but I find it hypocritical that two men who both claim the titles reverend and civil rights leader now find themselves not only unwilling to forgive, but waging war to ruin the man who wronged them and attacking free speech as well. Maybe they should boycott the works of all celebrities that use the “n word,” and see where that gets them.

Not only have they promoted a ban on the word nigger (that’s right, I said it; I just wanted to get it out once before its illegal to choose distasteful language), now Jackson is calling for a boycott of Seinfeld Season 7, which just recently was released on DVD. Let’s get something straight Mr. Jackson: Michael Richards made a big mistake; not Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Julie Dreyfus, or co-creator Larry David. Richards wasn’t reading a Seinfeld script when this happened. Why boycott Seinfeld? Its absurd when you consider that Jerry Seinfeld is one of the few comedians left to not use racial slurs, not joke about racial issues, and to not sell out his own people (I’m talking to you, Carlos Mencia).

I agree: Michael Richards is a bigot and an asshole. But when I heard a white lawyer cry the blues about the pain and suffering that Richards’ black “victims” were put through that night and the monetary compensation they deserve, I lost most of the pity I felt for them. Is taking Richard’s money away and putting it in the hands of black men going to heal his racism? Maybe in “Bizzaro World!” Richard’s just self-destructed his career. He’ll never have another black man in his audience; in fact he may never have another audience. And you know what? He deserves that.

As for what “he owes” his victims, I propose the same punishment I’d get if I told a group of black guys they were niggers: a fierce beat-down. Give these men a free pass to visit Michael Richards and kick the shit out of him, in private. No hidden cameras, no civil rights activists, no national racial tensions: just an idiot getting his ass kicked.