Several weeks ago at the Conference on World Affairs in Boulder, Colorado, a guest speaker suggested to his audience of high school students that they “have sex and use drugs” (article). Joel Becker, a professor of psychology at the University of California, was quoted as saying,
“I am going to encourage you to have sex and encourage you to use drugs appropriately. Why I am going to take that position is because you are going to do it anyway,” he continued. “I think as a psychologist and health educator, it is more important to educate you in a direction that you might actually stick to. So, I am going to stay mostly on with the sex side because that is the area I know more about. I want to encourage you to all have healthy, sexual behavior.“
As expected parents, teachers, and school board members are furious about this open invitation for their children to explore the wonderful and exciting world of sex and drugs. I give Joel Becker a lot of credit for having the guts to make such a statement in the forum in which he did. The reaction, though expected, simply proves his point: many parents and educators take an unrealistic stance on sex and drugs by exclusively advocating abstinence rather than responsible indulgence.
When the school board discussed the issue one parent speaker was asked to stop reading the transcript of Becker’s speech because the language was “not appropriate.” Perhaps the problem with America’s youth is not that people like Joel Becker are telling them they don’t have to feel guilty about their natural urges; but rather that parents are afraid of words like “masturbation,” “ecstasy,” and “we ate some ’shrooms and then I gave her the old ‘Cleaveland Steamer!’” These people are parents, mind you, which means they must have had sex at one time in their lives. I’m guessing from this article that it occurred at gunpoint.
Abstinence doesn’t work, and I don’t think anyone needs to see statistics to understand that (but here they are if you want them). You can make as many promises to God as you’d like, but at the age of 16 you’d burn down a convent full of nuns just to watch their titties bounce as they run out the door. It’s easy to have convictions when no one is testing them.
If you’re a parent, be responsible and talk to your kids realistically about sex and drugs. If this means you need to conquer a few of your own hang-ups, then so be it.
May 24th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
I give Joel Beck a lot of creidt also. I mean, what courage to get up in front of an audience and make a complete fool of yourself. Apparently all the outrage flies in the face of Mr. Becker’s and your ignorant view of the world. It’s a good thing that you and he are in the minority, albeit quite vocal.
May 24th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Hank,
Thanks for the comment on my website, I’m always happy to hear a difference of opinion. Why is my view of the world ignorant? I’ve got an open mind. Convince me I’m wrong and I’ll listen.
Perhaps I should have been a little more clear with my stance on the subject. Maybe it will change your opinion on what I said? Maybe not. I don’t advocate that parents tell their kids to have sex and do drugs. Promoting the behavior is certainly as dangerous, probably much more so, than ignoring it.
What I neglected to say between the joking and the railing against abstinence-only education is that there needs to be a healthy middle ground between promoting sexual activity and ignoring it altogether, where parents take the initiative and actually talk to their kids about sex (not just about “not having sex”).
As for drugs, sure, I’m for legalization of marijuana. I think you ought to be able to buy a joint at the same location you buy liquor and at the same age, and that’s because I have admittedly tried it and I know its not deadly. There is zero scientific proof that it is any more dangerous than smoking a cigarette and can, in fact, alleviate pain caused by many serious illnesses. But would I hand out joints to kids at the annual Halloween parade? Absolutely not.
I say talk to your kids about this stuff so they don’t have to walk into the situations they will, inevitably find themselves in and not know how to react. There’s a difference between “just saying no” to weed and “just saying no” to heroine. One leads to potato chips, the other can lead to death.